Last night’s episode of RHOA was particularly wonderful for me because I was eating a box of Godiva chocolates, that my husband gave me for Christmas, while watching it. I don’t feel too guilty about it though, because this morning I did 45 minutes of Just Dance 2014, also a gift from my hubby. My man did an awesome job this year! He not only got me most of the items off my wish list, but he also threw in a few surprises too. Love him to pieces.
Anywho, the ladies are still at the Wedding Cake Mansion & are making breakfast in the kitchen. NeNe is disappointed in how the trip has turned out. She was hoping that Savannah would bring everyone together, but instead, they are all fighting. Why is NeNe acting brand new to reality TV?? Girls trip = DRAMA. This is common knowledge. At NeNe’s request, the ladies are staying in tonight and cooking dinner. And by staying in, she means AFTER they go to a drag show.
At breakfast, Kandi is talking about having phone sex with Todd via Skype because men “like to see you touch it”. Porsha is grossed out by her own vagina & says that no one wants to be face-to-face with a vagina. Well, now we know what Kordell was NOT doing in their marriage. Someone get this girl a copy of The Vagina Monologues ASAP. And throw in any elementary school level book on the Underground Railroad while you’re at it. Contrary to what you think, PORSHA, your vag is beautiful & there are actually BILLIONS of people, male & female, whose sole purpose in life is to, in fact, get face-to-face with a vagina. Then Porsha brings up her vajayjay tattoo? & how she took her belly button ring out when she was pregnant. Mynique asks about it & Porsha says that the last thing she wants to talk about is her miscarriage. Well then, why’d you bring it up?!
We have our first breakdown of the night when Cynthia starts talking about Noelle & Arthur. Cynthia is right on when she says that girls who grow up too sheltered end up getting turned out. NeNe doesn’t agree with Cynthia & starts acting like a jerk. She says she would never “help” her 14-year-old son date. Cynthia says that she isn’t looking for NeNe’s approval, she’s just talking to her girlfriends. Yesss, girl. Yes. I hate when women do that! Can we just talk? I’m grown, I’m not looking for you to okay my life choices. I’m just filling you heffas in.
Anyways, Kandi, having a teen daughter herself, has Cynthia’s back. Phaedra has the best line of the night when she says that with sons, you only have to worry about one ding-a-ling, but when you have a daughter, you have to worry about everyone’s ding-a-ling. NeNe starts going on about how young girls today are skanky & that they change their outfits when they leave the house & then they go twerk in the mall! This makes Cynthia very upset & she starts bawling. Kenya says that moms shouldn’t judge other moms & is it just me or has Kenya beein making a lot of sense lately?! WTF is going on here, RHOA. Instead of admitting she was wrong, NeNe rolls her eyes & says that she is free to have an opinion. Phaedra says that NeNe is in no place to judge anyone because she has had a lot of problems with her older son. Oh, reeeally. Kenya & Porsha follow Cynthia to her room & try to comfort her. They reassure her that she is a great mom & from everything I have seen on the show, I have to agree with them. Kenya shares her story about how her deadbeat mom ignores her. Porsha misses her stepson terribly & says that she took the role of stepmom very seriously. As a fellow stepmom, I can really relate to Porsha.
Kandi & Phaedra are preparing a lavish Southern feast for dinner. Porsha says that all the ladies try to act strong, but deep inside they’re all dealing with stuff. Again, I find myself relating to Porsha. I hate when women try & act like they have it all together, ESPECIALLY to their girlfriends. If you can’t keep it real with your girlfriends, then you need new friends! Kenya says that her and Porsha have one commonality, which is that they both long for a child. Kenya becomes emotional when she confides to Porsha about her mom. Kenya says that she had to be tough her whole life because she was always on her own. And that it is not easy for her to be vulnerable. See, now this sh*t is interesting, KENYA. More of this & less crappy songs/twerking on furniture, please. Porsha makes a good point that the ladies are around each other all the time, yet have no idea what the other is going through because everyone tries to act like they’re on point 24/7. I feel like I am in The Twilight Zone. Why are Kenya & Porsha making the most sense this episode?
NeNe finally “apologizes” to Cynthia. She walks in her room & starts making lame jokes to “keep it light”. Cynthia says that it is different raising boys than it is raising girls. The only positive thing I can say about my girl NeNe right now is that I am digging her headband. Then, NeNe is somehow with Porsha & Porsha is crying. I lost focus here because I was busy reading the chocolates map that comes with the box to figure out which chocolate I wanted next. I tuned back in just as Porsha tells NeNe that she goes on Kordell’s Instagram sometimes just so she can see pics of her stepson. She says that that’s her family & it is weird to not be with them. NeNe said that Porsha needs to fight for her family & that she should talk to Kordell about “pausing” the divorce, something NeNe had done with Gregg.
Phaedra & Kandi are talking while cooking. Kandi says that she likes to do something different every year to take her to the next level. This year she is working on a musical about her problems with Momma Joyce. And this is why I respect Kandi so much. She is always trying to be better!
Kenya flies her dog, Velvet, in because he had a tummy ache. Somebody give this woman a baby, like yesterday. The ladies are getting ready for the drag show & NeNe tells Kenya that now is a good time to have a talk with Phaedra about the Apollo/Kenya text-gate scandal. Kenya really wants to reiterate that she does not want Apollo, she never wanted Apollo, & she most def did not proposition him sexually.
Kenya approaches Phaedra in her room, followed closely by Velvet. Phaedra is concerned that Velvet is going to diarrhea in her room. Kenya brings up text-gate & Phaedra responds by pulling out her boob to breast pump. She starts pumping as Kenya begins talking, which frustrates Kenya. Kenya says her piece & Phaedra says her rebuttal to every argument – she has a baby, she has school, & she has jobs. She is so over text-gate & ain’t nobody got time for that. They both agree to move on.
At the drag show, Kenya throws NeNe some shade by saying that NeNe is like a drag queen, complete with an Adam’s apple. Whaaa?! Them’s fighting words if you ask me. NeNe tells the drag queen, who has the skinniest arm in the world, that Mynique is half black & half white & doesn’t know how to “read”. Really? Is is that serious, NeNe? Than the drag queen tries to teach Mynique how to be “black” & the whole thing is painful to watch. The girls are having a great time & NeNe has the balls to say that she saved the day, once again. Uh, b you started this mess! Nene’s lack of self-awareness is really getting on my nerves this episode. Does she not realize that her being jerky to Cynthia started a wave of emotional breakdowns amongst the ladies?
The ladies return to the mansion to eat. Porsha took NeNe’s advice & texted Kordell, saying that they needed to talk. Kordell responded by asking her what she wanted to talk about. Porsha, acting like a giggly schoolgirl & not at all like a grown woman whose marriage is in dire straits, doesn’t know what to text back. Kandi took matters into her own hands & texted Kordell for Porsha, saying that they needed to talk about their relationship. Kenya tells Porsha that she needs to come at Kordell from an honest place. Somebody get Kenya some butter, cause homegirl is on a roll! Also, did anyone else notice that Kenya was eating a huge bowl of just mashed potatoes? Weird.
Kandi brings up the play she is working on & asks NeNe if she’d be interested in acting in it. NeNe acts like she is too cool for school & for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. Does she really think that two roles on TV means that she is too good for one of Kandi’s projects? Kandi is without a doubt, the most successful woman on that show, so NeNe betta recognize!
All hell breaks loose when a flying cockroach shows up to dinner. The ladies start screaming, running around, & acting like a bunch of maniacs. Props to Kenya for remaining seated & not losing her cool. Once she saw the actual bug though, it was game on. That mofo was HUGE. Porsha & Kenya get VIP status for this episode. Not only did they make the most sense, they also defeated the flying cockroach & TRULY saved the day, NENE.
Porsha thanked the ladies for sharing their hearts with her. NeNe called her out for being a one-sided friend. Apparently, Porsha never answers her phone or texts back. Porsha admitted that she was wrong & doesn’t want her divorce drama to make her a bad friend. Kandi is a lil’ perplexed by NeNe & her strict rules for friendship. I get it, because I was once like NeNe. I placed high expectations on my friends & watch out if they didn’t meet them! Now, I’m a lil’ more patient, a lot more kind, & way more understanding that everyone is just trying to get through life, like I am. Sometimes my friends will let me down, & that’s okay. So now, I’m more like Kandi & agree that NeNe needs to loosen up!
The ladies hugged it out & all is well. For now. Can’t wait to see what happens next week! How’d you guys like this episode?