Sorry this is late, but I was knee-deep in Thanksgiving
food hosting duties this week!
Alright, let’s get to it!
Carlton – Carlton & Brandi are trashy lingerie shopping. Carlton obviously has the hots for Brandi
don’t we all. She tries feeling Brandi ‘s sexuality out by asking her what type of man she likes. Tall, dark, & handsome, says Brandi. Carlton tells her that visualization is very effective & that you have to be very specific about what you want from the universe. To the point of writing that ish down. I totally agree with her, until she starts talking about burying your list with a crystal on a full moon blah blah blah. Carlton comes out of the dressing room in some sparkly red ensemble & I just don’t think men are really into all that. Gay men, perhaps. Carlton feels a strong bond with Brandi stalker & says that they “gravitate” towards each other because they both like to “play”. Oh lawd, Carlton, just tongue her down already & see what happens. Enough with this coy sh*t.
Kim – Kim arranges for the girls to attend a trapeze class together. What’s up with all the trapeze classes this week, Bravo? You had the RHOA cast doing the same thing this week. Kim starts talking about her acting career when she was a kid & I tune the f out. I think about the trapeze class I took a few years back, & that ish was hard as hell! It really works your abs, though.
Kyle – Kyle & Mauricio meet Joyce & her hubby for lunch. Joyce feels a connection with Kyle & says that when she hangs with her, she feels like they are sisters
stalker. Joyce tries uber hard to be provocative, but always comes off sounding like a pre-teen girl trying to impress her friends. When discussing the upcoming trapeze class, she said she was “good at juggling balls”, followed by a “Right, honey?” to her husband, & then proceeded to giggle like a schoolgirl. EWWW. GROSS. WHO TALKS LIKE THAT. Anyways, Kyle says that all of the rumors regarding Mauricio’s cheating scandal only brings them closer as a couple. As much as I dislike Kyle’s mean girl nature, I do think her & Mauricio have a great marriage. They seem truly in love & are a team. For their sake & for their daughter’s sake, I hope that the rumors are not true. Mauricio says that any of the RHOBH ladies can give him a lie detector test. You gotta love his fire & I feel like Apollo from RHOA should take note.
Yolanda – Yolanda & her daughters Gigi, who retweeted my recap on episode 3, & Bella, are all in her closet trying on clothes. I really respect Yolanda as a mom. Despite her kids growing up privileged, it is very important to her that they be independent. How beautiful is Yolanda?
Lisa – Ken surprises Lisa with a puppy & it is adorable & I wish my husband would come home with puppies every once in a while. Lisa names the puppy Rumpy Pumpy, which means “butt sex”.
Kim – Was it just me or was Kim flirting with the Cirque School guy?
Ewww. Brandi & Yolanda arrive first & it is awkward since they don’t always get along with Kim. Brandi tells Kim that she is upset with Kyle because paparazzi approached her in front of her kids & said that Kyle called her a bully. Kim says that the paparazzi make up stuff all the time & I am wondering why Brandi didn’t come to this conclusion herself before getting mad at Kyle. Kim says that the trapeze class is to be fun & drama free, so Brandi should confront Kyle another time.
When everyone else arrives, Kim reiterates her speech on keeping the trapeze class drama free. She goes on & on, & when Yolanda interrupts to basically say, Ok we got it!, she accuses her of being rude. Kyle of course jumps to Kim’s defense. It starts to get real uncomfortable & all hope of a peaceful class goes out the window. Thanks, Kim.
The class gets started & it is clearly divided. You have Team Brandi, which consists of Brandi, Yolanda, Carlton, & Lisa. And then you have Team Kyle, which consists of Kyle, Kim, & Joyce. Brandi fills her team in on the Kyle/paparazzi drama & even though I am Team Brandi for life, I really feel that she is blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Kyle tells Brandi that she never spoke with the paparazzi & I believe her.
Then it was time to do an exercise where someone rolls on the floor & another person jumps over them. LOL. Um yea. If I were in this group of women, I would trust not one of these heffas to jump over me. Sorry. Ain’t happening.
The ladies meet up for some drinks & snacks by the pool. They start debating whether or not Yolanda, who was not there because it was Gigi & Bella’s prom, was being rude at the trapeze class. Carlton, clearly trying to affix herself to Team Brandi, says that she did not think Yolanda was being rude at all. Joyce, doing the same exact thing but for Team Kyle, says that Yolanda was being rude. Brandi brings up the paparazzi calling her a bully in front of her kids. Kyle, again, said that she never said that. Team Brandi asks her to then tweet that she never said that. Weird. Weren’t they the ones who were telling Kyle to just ignore the Mauricio cheating scandal & it will go away? So why is Brandi making such a huge deal about hearsay? Kyle refused to tweet about it because she is too busy. Mmm… I don’t know who to believe at this point. If she really didn’t say it, but she sees how much it is bothering Brandi, why not send out a tweet? It literally would take no more than 30 seconds. Maybe she is just being stubborn? Maybe she really did say it?
Joyce, in the most irrelevant b trying to be relevant move of all of reality show history, pulls Lisa to the side to confront her for… flipping her hair in front of her?? Give. Me. A. Break. JOYCE. She claimed that Lisa was super rude to her at Carlton’s lunch because Lisa backed away when Joyce tried to brush her hair. JOYCE. You are a grown ass woman, not a pre-teen & life is not a slumber party. I don’t want some random woman I barely know to start messing with my hair. B stay in your lane! Get out of my personal space! Lisa was just as confused as I, & everyone else watching, was. Then Joyce tried to throw Brandi & Yolanda under the bus by saying that they called Joyce to talk about Lisa. Supposedly Brandi said that Lisa can give criticism but can not take it. Brandi said that Joyce is twisting her words & of course I believe Brandi. Joyce, Queen of TMI, said something about when she is on her period she is kind of a bitch & without missing a beat, Brandi asked her if she was on her period now. LMAO. I love Brandi.
So what’d you guys think of this week’s episode? Do you think Kyle is lying?