Scandalous Podcast is Up!

Hi guys! For the past few weeks, I have been working with some fabulous ladies on a Scandal podcast. The first episode is up and we have a lot more episodes to post soon. Please check us out on my Scandalous Podcast page and find out why I am Team This Guy –

Scandal Scott Foley Charisma1

Wowsers!

Check Me Out On Tiny Steps Mommy Blog!

Press Tiny Steps Mommy

Tiny Steps Mommy is a great blog by Washington, DC blogger Nicole Dash. Nicole writes about pertinent issues related to child care and parenting. She is also a Huffington Post Blog Contributor and writes for The DC Moms.

I was honored to be featured on her blog as part of her two-year blogiversary celebration in which she highlights her readers. Check me out here.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 4 Reunion Part 1

RHOBH S4 Reunion

Last night’s reunion was just aight. They spent entirely too much time on Kim, but I guess they had to get the boring stuff out of the way first. I am certain Part 2 and 3 will be waaay more interesting.

Here are my thoughts –

Brandi needs to cool it on the Botox or whatever it is that she is inserting into her cheeks. No bueno. Also, the whole woe is me, I’m a victim thing is NOT a good look. The way she treated Joyce last night was disgusting, but I am not surprised, because she has acted an ass this whole season. I am no longer a member of Team Brandi, card turned in and erything…

Kyle looked amazing. Girlfriend was WEARING that purple dress! It is definitely her color and the formfitting shape was so much more flattering on her than the oversized muumuus she usually wears. I thought she looked the best out of all the ladies last night.

Did y’all see how quickly Brandi threw Kyle under the bus for saying that Lisa lived in Calabasas?! The look on Kyle’s face was priceless, but then, again what did you expect, KYLE? Like Lisa said in the season finale, “Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

I still am not sure why Kyle believes anything that comes out of Brandi’s filthy mouth! Not only did she lie about Lisa filing for bankruptcy, she lied about what she said about Lisa to Joyce. Aren’t Kyle and Joyce friends? Doesn’t she believe Joyce? So, why would she take anything Brandi said seriously? I don’t get it.

Lisa trying to explain that she is British and therefore has a different sense of humor was unnecessary and also, went waaay over Brandi’s head. Homegirl is stupid. Point blank. Lisa, you don’t have to justify who you are. You’re perfect just the way you are.

Yolanda going on and on about Lyme disease and how Lisa didn’t bring her Starbucks… bitch, please! Lisa has a lot on her plate and oh yea, you guys are on a reality show and are not actual friends. Why is Lisa the only one who understands this? And can we really believe anything Yolanda says if she lost a fifth of her brain, like she said she did?

Kim, forget what 95% of the viewing audience thinks, but if your sister, your flesh and blood, thinks that your dog is going to eat you, YOUR DOG IS PROBABLY GOING TO EAT YOU.

Brandi has no class insulting Joyce’s dress and her husband, and neither does Carlton, giggling like the mean bitch witch that she is. How in the hell are you gonna talk smack about somebody’s man and you are alone every night? There’s a reason you are alone every night, BRANDI.

About the “Black people can’t swim” comment, it was wrong and I am glad that Brandi apologized for it, even though she had to throw in a bunch of extras, like how she has black friends and sleeps with black dudes. And Hispanics. Especially Cubans. Uh, what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?! Hispanic people are not black people. You make yourself sound even more ignorant when you lump all minorities together. And guess what, BRANDI, you can sleep with minorities and still be racist as f. Just FYI.

Carlton is such a hypocrite not wanting Brandi to share that they kissed and not wanting to hear about Joyce’s husband’s wang. Uh, CARLTON, we were subjected this season to watching you go trashy lingerie shopping multiple times, flirting with your nanny, hiring pole dancers, building a sex room, and just talking about sex in general, NON-STOP. In your own words, “ARE YOU F-NG KIDDING ME?!”

LMAO is Brandi for real saying that Lisa wasn’t a real friend because she wanted to expose her as a drunk on TV. Um, sweetie, you’re doing a great job of that all on your own. Lisa was an amazing friend to you because not only did she put up with your bullshit, she went out of her way to try to get you to stop making a fool out of yourself on TV, and even though she knew you were dead wrong, she always defended you.

Does anyone care if Lisa fake fainted? I don’t. I would fake faint too if I ran several businesses, was on a TV show, and was on another TV show dancing for hours a day and I was like 50-something years old. Just sayin’.

What’d you guys think of the reunion? Are you looking forward to Parts 2 and 3?

Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 6 Episode 18

I just want to say officially that I think Miss Kenya Moore is a major c-word.

The episode starts off with Kenya talking smack with Miss Lawrence over breakfast. Miss Lawrence commented on her healthy eating and Kenya said that even though she is on vacation, she has to take care of her body because she doesn’t want to leave Mexico looking like Phaedra. WOMAN! Are you f-ng kidding me?! Phaedra is au naturel. No one knows what you ACTUALLY look like, because your body is full of silicone! Your body is faker than those crocodile tears you were crying at the Shaman’s. Girl, bye!

RHOA S6 Ep18 Kenya Breakfast

RHOA S6 Ep18 Miss Lawrence Breakfast

Kenya is taking the crew on a Mexican excursion to check out some caves and a natural spring. Out of the two vans carrying the Housewives, I most definitely would’ve preferred being in the van with NeNe, Gregg, Porsha, Phaedra, and Apollo. They were having a good ass time laughing about showering outdoors.

RHOA S6 Ep18 Van Good Times

Porsha is a good example of how to act as a single woman around your friends’ husbands. When Gregg joked about Porsha showering outdoors, she laughed, joked a lil’, and KEPT IT MOVING. Take note, KENYA.

The other van had Kenya, Miss Lawrence, Kandi, Todd, Cynthia, and Miss Peter. Kenya started talking about how she has enjoyed getting to know Todd better and that she likes his “sensibility”. All I could think was, heffa. Stay. The. F. Away. From. Todd. Kandi is not Phaedra and Kenya knows this. She will whoop her ass with the quickness, so I wish Kenya would.

RHOA S6 Ep18 Van Cynthia Overalls

Cynthia was wearing the shit out of those overalls! I have been saying for YEARS that overalls are gonna make a comeback. I am so ahead of my time, SMH.

Moving on, Kenya’s messy ass got everyone talking about the Mama Joyce drama. And as little as Todd is, he is such a man, and that is why I am Team Todd all the way. He laid it down for Kandi and everyone in the van. He said Kandi needs therapy, her mom needs therapy, and they need therapy together. He also said how he tried multiple times to communicate with Mama Joyce and how he hopes one day she will be ride or die for him. Aww, Todd. That’s probably never gonna happen. Sorry, boo boo. Kandi’s response to Todd’s lil’ speech was evasive and hella lame, as per usual when it comes to her mother.

Everyone’s reaction when they entered the jungle, or wherever the f they were, was PRICELESS. I would love to see this cast on an episode of Fear Factor, for real.

RHOA S6 Ep18 Cynthia Phaedra Snake

Then Kenya lured everyone to a natural spring and proceeded to strip down to her bikini. I was not appreciating her little comments to Apollo here and there. Back the f up, KENYA. You have no business talking to that man. This is why I really do not like/trust Kenya. She is not a girl’s girl AT ALL.

Apollo wanted to go into the spring too, but he knew better than to try and enter without his wife in tow. So, Phaedra, Apollo, Kandi, and Porsha went in and everyone had a good time.

RHOA S6 Ep18 Kenya Spring

And what was up with the seductive looks Kenya was giving erybody from the cave? Again, girl, bye! Just bye.

Sooo, this is when the episode gets weird. After the excursion, Kenya invites all of the ladies, except for Phaedra, to visit a Shaman with her. Kenya wants the Shaman to make her fertile for the sperm bank. The lil’ crocodile tears show Kenya put on while the Shaman worked his magic should’ve won homegirl an award for Most Dramatic Housewife. A thousand times, BYE!

RHOA S6 Ep18 Shaman

Porsha chose to stay behind because she believes in Jesus. Phaedra joins her in the pool for a drink and some girl talk.

RHOA S6 Ep18 Phaedra Pool

RHOA S6 Ep18 Porsha Hat

Porsha's hat is everything.

After the Shaman visit, Kenya talks to the girls about how bad she wants a baby and for once, is acting like a normal human being. I ain't buying it, though.

RHOA S6 Ep18 Shaman Kandi

Kandi’s all, “Who is this person and why can’t she act this way all the time?” Our thoughts, exactly. Kandi also said that she would like to have a son with Todd. Um, how adorable would their lil’ short, big-headed children be?!

No more than a few hours later, Kenya is back to being an asshole. Surprise, surprise. That night, she joins the fellas to smoke some cigars. She acts like a straight up BIRD. Talkin’ about “sucking” the cigar. B, please! You are a grown ass woman. You claim to be intelligent. You say you’re accomplished. Then why the f do you have to resort to throwing sexual innuendos at married men just to get some attention from the opposite sex? Kenya is sad as hell! Act like a motherf-ng lady, please!

RHOA S6 Ep18 Kenya Guys

Seriously, if this is how she carries on with single dudes, it explains why she is still single. The vibes she gives off are not of the “wife” variety. They are of the “hoe”, “jumpoff”, “one-night stand”, etc. variety. Do you really think a man is going to take you seriously when all you’re giving off is sex? Of course Apollo thought he could’ve smashed you if he wanted to, look at how you’re acting!

Anyways, then this heffa tries to get Apollo alone to talk about how he said she was easy. Their little conversation was so wrong on so many levels, I don’t even know where to begin. I can’t wait till Kenya is married one day, so that she can understand that that shit is sacred. You don’t text somebody’s husband, you don’t go drinking with somebody’ husband, and your really don’t try and have a conversation about the texts while drinking with said husband! ESPECIALLY when his wife is not present.

RHOA S6 Ep18 Kenya Apollo Talk

And Apollo should know better. Ugh, Apollo is basically a pre-teen boy at this point. That’s literally how he acts. And why is he married telling some woman, “I could’ve slept with you if I wanted to.” Boy, bye!

RHOA S6 Ep18 Kenya Apollo Talk1

Phaedra walks in and I’d like to think that shit’s about to get real, but I don’t know with Phaedra. She is too damn calm for me. Kenya definitely would’ve had a tequila bottle smashed over her head at this point, if it were me.

RHOA S6 Ep18 Phaedra Pissed

A couple of sidenotes: Loved seeing the crew dancing and having a fun time on the bus. And Cynthia has had some hilarious one-liners this season. Her comments during the Shaman thing were hilarious.

What’d you all think of this episode? Who is more to blame, Kenya or Apollo? What would you do if you were Phaedra? What do you think she is going to do?

A Year in Birchbox: January’s Box

I’m so behind with this! Ok, let’s do this. Quick and dirty.

Birchbox January1

Camille Beckman Body Butter – Morelia Monarch Scent.

First things first, this body butter smells AMAZING. However, I would not classify it as “body butter”. Body butter is thick and creamy and delicious. This is aight. It’s really just regular ol’ lotion. Which is fine, except when you call it “body butter”, it better be body butter! Or people are gonna be disappointed. That being said, this product is still one of my FAVORITE Birchbox products , because it smells THAT GOOD, people.

Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser.

I need lather in my life. I’ve read that you technically don’t need lather, but I MENTALLY need it. A good lather will leave you feeling refreshed and super clean. This cleanser feels more like rubbing a layer of lotion onto your face and then just wiping it off. It may be a great product, but if I don’t get my lather, I’m just not gonna feel clean. Ya feel me?

Omni Potent Duosity Hair Treatment.

If it’s possible, this hair treatment left my hair in worse condition than before I used it! I don’t know. Maybe it’s because after using it, I didn’t put in any additional moisturizing products (like I normally would), because I wanted to see its results all by itself. They were NOT good.

Under Armour Braided Mini Headbands.

This is cool. I doubt I will ever use it though, because I have long hair that stays out of my face when I put it in a ponytail, so why do I need this thing?

Coastal Scents Revealed Eye Shadow Palette.

The sample I got was all grey colors. So far, I tried the lightest grey color because the other greys are really dark and that scares me. I am not that experienced with eye shadow, so I don’t really know if the dark colors will go with my complexion. But it’s cool, it’s eyeshadow. I don’t really have anything negative to say about it.

Well, there you have it, my January Birchbox. All in all, it was a success. Although, I really wish it had a delicious snack in it, like last time. So did my husband. The first thing he asked when I opened it was, “No food?” Hopefully, next month! Stay tuned…

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 4 Episode 19, AKA The Finale!

RHOBH S4 Ep19 Lisa Brandi Talk

Ok so, the season ends where we started off, at a damn Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce party. Life comes full circle, yada, yada. Could we not find a cooler party for these ladies to go to? I mean, y’all ARE in Beverly Hills, after all.

The finale wasn’t all that exciting and at times it felt like people were just making up stuff to have a storyline (cough Brandi cough Yolanda cough). This is why RHONJ is my FAVORITE of all the Housewives. Those ladies are family and were friends waaay before the show started. Therefore, they have ACTUAL problems with each other, which makes for great reality television.

Moving on, so we’re at this party, and everyone is against Lisa because… I couldn’t tell ya. It’s all stupid and silly and petty and weird. Brandi is mad because Lisa mothers her, told her to put tabloids in a suitcase, and hasn’t fired Scheana, the waitress who slept with Brandi’s ex A MILLION YEARS AGO.

Yolanda is mad at Lisa because she didn’t visit her when she was home with Lyme disease for 18 months.

Kyle is mad at Lisa because, for some reason, she believes every single word that is coming out of Brandi’s mouth. Brandi is a notorious shit starter and drama queen, so I am not sure why Kyle is taking her word as gospel. Or in Kyle’s case, as Tanakh.

Kim is mad at Lisa because Lisa treats her like the non-motherf-ng factor that she is.

Brandi and Kyle ride to the event together, and I really feel like Kyle doesn’t care what the actual truth is. She sees this moment as her time to shine, play victim, get in with the cool kids, and knock Lisa down a peg or two. Which makes me wonder, what kind of friend is Kyle?

Everyone is giving Lisa shit for leaving Puerto Rico early, and she is a better woman than me, because she apologized to Joyce for it. F that shit. If I were her, I would’ve left too! I’m not gonna sit around while a team of women gang up on me for no damn reason. That’s some masochist shit right there, and I ain’t into it. If Brandi had an issue with Lisa, she should have pulled her aside and talked about it. Why the f is Yolanda involved in this at all?? And why did it go from Brandi to every single woman on the show telling Lisa what a horrible person they think she is?

Yolanda is OUT OF CONTROL with her bullying. Lisa doesn’t owe an apology to Yolanda or any of these bitches. I am looking forward to next season when Brandi turns on Yolanda for no good reason and then the following season, when she turns on Kyle, and so forth and so forth.

I love Ken’s shadiness to the ladies and can you blame him? This whole thing is utterly ridiculous! And Yolanda making a big deal out of Ken TOUCHING HER HAND is just… it’s just… I can’t. I literally can not. It’s so f-ng stupid, Yolanda. So yes, Ken is right, you are f-ng STUPID. I was ride or die for Brandi and Yolanda, but this season I am so grossed out by their behavior.

Brandi tried to give Carlton shit for sticking up for Lisa. Carlton tried to assert herself, but I felt that as badass as she tries to make us all think she is, she could’ve done a better job. Apparently, she was there when the whole magazine thing went down and didn’t hear Lisa say that. Uh, are you listening, KYLE? Or are you too busy twirling gleefully in the middle of this shit storm? Kyle is in the perfect position and she knows it. She’s in the middle, but she didn’t cause any of this, so she is the victim and everyone is trying to appease her. And she is loving every minute of it. So, hell no, she’s not going to listen to logic, because then this will all end and everyone will go back to rolling their eyes at her.

Lisa pulled Kyle aside to fix things and Kyle wouldn’t let shit go, because like I said before, she is RELISHING being in the center of all this. Bravo, Kyle! Bravo! You are now about to lose a real friend for a fake ass, Xanax popping, drunk who will turn on you and your family in a heartbeat. Did y’all see how Brandi turned on Ken when he was arguing with Yolanda? She is vicious! Ken and Lisa did so much for her. They defended her constantly and to everyone. They defended her even when Brandi was clearly wrong. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. Brandi is so screwed up, she wouldn’t know love or loyalty if it bit her in her teeny tiny ass.

Anyways, Lisa is a BOSS, so is not playing these games. She tells Kyle that she can’t keep doing this with her over and over again, and I agree. After fighting with this girl for years over dumb shit, Lisa has had enough. She is exhausted and just wants to move on.

Brandi finally got the balls to talk to Lisa without her bodyguard, Yolanda, in tow. During this talk, we got to see how scattered and irrelevant Brandi’s argument was. She is ultimately mad because Lisa hasn’t fired Scheana. Brandi, LISTEN UP. You are on a hit reality TV show. You have TWO books that are New York Times bestsellers. Girl, you are on top!

And you are a grown woman. Do better. Be better. Why in the hell are you still worried about what your EX-husband did to you years ago? This shit happened when you were pregnant! Your youngest kid is at least five-years-old. Why is this still affecting your life?! Your husband cheated again and married his mistress and she flaunts that ish all over her Twitter. Even that was YEARS ago, move on. Move on from it all! Live your life! This goes to show that it doesn’t matter how successful or rich you become, if you feel shitty on the inside and aren’t willing to change yourself, you’re gonna always feel shitty on the inside. Homegirl needs to stop worrying about magazines and slutty waitresses and start doing some major self-reflection.

Judging by the sneak peek of next week’s reunion, I think it is going to more than make up for this anti-climatic season finale.

RHOBH S4 Ep19 Reunion

Oh & shout out to Lisa who had the BEST line of the night, and maybe the whole season – “Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

What’d you guys think of the finale? Is anyone Team Brandi at this point?

Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 6 Episode 17

Man, I missed these ladies! We didn’t get to see them last week because of the Oscars, but they sure do know how to make up for lost time! Mexico started off cray cray and shady as all hell… and that’s just how we like it.

The episode starts off with NeNe and Cynthia shopping for bikinis for Mexico. I would’ve pegged NeNe as a strictly one-piece gal, but she says that she only wears bikinis because having two kids DID NOT give her stretch marks. You go, girl. Cynthia tries to bring up the Marlo drama at the Bailey Bowl and NeNe says that she will not waste her breath speaking about that poor excuse for a friend. I think like NeNe. I wouldn’t spend a minute of my time talking about a fake ass, disloyal friend/opportunist. Keep it moving, bye Felicia!, and all that good stuff.

RHOA S6 Ep17 NeNe Hat

Off in Shady Land, Kenya goes to Marlo’s house for some of her famous cocktails. They talk about the Bailey Bowl and NeNe’s career, or lack thereof, because they are catty bitches. Marlo is playing the victim and doesn’t understand why NeNe isn’t her friend anymore. Bitch, please. It’s not like you and Kenya were friends and all of a sudden NeNe is mad. You were NeNe’s friend and then sought to befriend her arch nemesis? Who does that?? Seriously, what kind of FRIEND does that?! Marlo was never NeNe’s friend. She is an opportunist, plain and simple. I am 100% Team NeNe on this one.

RHOA S6 Ep17 Marlo

Moving on to Phaedra and Apollo. Phaedra is not looking forward to this Mexico trip and really doesn’t want to bring Apollo’s trifling ass and I don’t blame her! She had the funniest lines of the episode, like when she said that she would rather have Portia take her Black History Month final exam for her than go to Mexico and when she called Miss Kenya Moore, “Kenya Whore”. Well, hey, if the shoe fits!

RHOA S6 Ep17 Phaedra

On another note, how cute was Ayden cleaning the pool and washing windows with commentary? Is it just me or could you watch a reality show of this kid simply doing chores? Adorable!

Peter meets up with Kordell to find out what happened between him and Portia, because Peter is a little bitch. Seriously, Peter, are you trying to be the seventh Housewife or something?! WTF.

Kordell gives his side of the story and it is interesting, I guess. It is also kinda ridiculous, which is why we watch this show. Like when Kordell said the reason that he divorced Portia is because her mom had the nerve to eat a pepperoni pizza in his bedroom. Are we for real with this shit? Granted, that was hella rude. But you don’t divorce your wife over that, KORDELL.

RHOA S6 Ep17 Kordell

Kenya and Miss Lawrence arrive at Mexico a day early so that her narcisstic ass can set up, and by set up, she means put photos of herself in everyone’s room. Ain’t nobody wanna see that shit, KENYA.

The other Housewives head to Mexico together, except for Phaedra and Apollo. Is she having second thoughts? Does she not trust Apollo to act right that much? Can you blame her?

Is it just me or does Portia have a booty that won’t quit? Thank God, because we all know that her brains aren’t going to take her too far.

And how short are Kandi and Todd exactly?! You don’t really notice it until they are walking together and then it’s like, what the hell?!

Anywho, everyone lands and then boards a bus to the hotel. Peter, aka the seventh Housewife, brings up his visit with Kordell, in front of everyone. Why, Peter? What is the point of all this??

RHOA S6 Ep17 Peter Messy Bus

They arrive at the hotel and Krayonce greets them in a bikini. Yawn. No one cares, KRAYONCE.

RHOA S6 Ep17 Kenya Greets

Didn’t I say no one cares? As usual, NeNe’s facial expressions sum up the tone of the scene.

RHOA S6 Ep17 NeNe Face

Everyone goes to their rooms and Kenya, forever kissing NeNe’s ass, gives her the other presidential suite. Marlo better watch out because Kenya has been gunning to be NeNe’s right-hand woman since the moment she stepped on the scene. Marlo is just a pawn in whatever game Kenya is playing. Oh well, Marlo has her own agenda and they will both get theirs. Karma is a bitch.

One of the funniest things ever was when Cynthia went to Portia’s room and tells her that Peter called Kordell and that he was on his way to Mexico so that Portia wouldn’t be lonely. LMAO. She had all of us going there for a minute! Good one, Cynthia.

Then her and Portia talked about Peter’s meddling, blah, blah, blah. I tuned out during this part. Sorry!

Everyone meets for dinner, where Kenya switched everyone’s seats because she is lonely and misery loves company. She is hell bent on breaking the couples up. Where is yo man, boo? Seriously, WHERE IS YO MAN?! Dear lawd, why is this woman so sad and shady?!

RHOA S6 Ep17 Kenya Switches Seats

Everyone is having a good time until two things happen.

1. Phaedra and Apollo arrive. Can you say, “awwwkward”?

RHOA S6 Ep17 Phaedra & Apollo Arrive

2. Everyone and their mama go in on Portia and if she did all that she could to save her marriage. Gregg, Todd, Kenya, Peter, erybody.

So, Gregg was trying to be helpful. He wanted to make sure that there was nothing else that could be done to save Portia and Kordell’s marriage. Todd was trying to help too (Team Todd here!).

RHOA S6 Ep17 Gregg Portia

Kenya was just being messy as usual. Portia made a comment about telling Kordell she could help his image and Kenya took that and ran with it. She made a mountain out of a molehill, AS USUAL.

However, on a side note, Portia needs to cool it with the “Kordell is gay” innuendos. It only makes her look bad.

RHOA S6 Ep17 Kenya Messy

Peter, of course, has to get involved in stuff that has nothing to do with him, AGAIN, because he is a little bitch.

RHOA S6 Ep17 Peter Messy Table

PETER, mind yo business and worry about your own damn marriage! You are by no means the expert on marriage, thank you very much. Just shut your mouth and be happy that Cynthia ain’t leaving your ass for fine ass Leon.

What’d you all think about this episode? Are you Team NeNe or Team Marlo? What is Kenya’s problem?! Do you think Portia should try and reconcile with Kordell? Would you divorce someone if their mama ate a pizza in YOUR room??