Man, I missed these ladies! We didn’t get to see them last week because of the Oscars, but they sure do know how to make up for lost time! Mexico started off cray cray and shady as all hell… and that’s just how we like it.
The episode starts off with NeNe and Cynthia shopping for bikinis for Mexico. I would’ve pegged NeNe as a strictly one-piece gal, but she says that she only wears bikinis because having two kids DID NOT give her stretch marks. You go, girl. Cynthia tries to bring up the Marlo drama at the Bailey Bowl and NeNe says that she will not waste her breath speaking about that poor excuse for a friend. I think like NeNe. I wouldn’t spend a minute of my time talking about a fake ass, disloyal friend/opportunist. Keep it moving, bye Felicia!, and all that good stuff.
Off in Shady Land, Kenya goes to Marlo’s house for some of her famous cocktails. They talk about the Bailey Bowl and NeNe’s career, or lack thereof, because they are catty bitches. Marlo is playing the victim and doesn’t understand why NeNe isn’t her friend anymore. Bitch, please. It’s not like you and Kenya were friends and all of a sudden NeNe is mad. You were NeNe’s friend and then sought to befriend her arch nemesis? Who does that?? Seriously, what kind of FRIEND does that?! Marlo was never NeNe’s friend. She is an opportunist, plain and simple. I am 100% Team NeNe on this one.
Moving on to Phaedra and Apollo. Phaedra is not looking forward to this Mexico trip and really doesn’t want to bring Apollo’s trifling ass and I don’t blame her! She had the funniest lines of the episode, like when she said that she would rather have Portia take her Black History Month final exam for her than go to Mexico and when she called Miss Kenya Moore, “Kenya Whore”. Well, hey, if the shoe fits!
On another note, how cute was Ayden cleaning the pool and washing windows with commentary? Is it just me or could you watch a reality show of this kid simply doing chores? Adorable!
Peter meets up with Kordell to find out what happened between him and Portia, because Peter is a little bitch. Seriously, Peter, are you trying to be the seventh Housewife or something?! WTF.
Kordell gives his side of the story and it is interesting, I guess. It is also kinda ridiculous, which is why we watch this show. Like when Kordell said the reason that he divorced Portia is because her mom had the nerve to eat a pepperoni pizza in his bedroom. Are we for real with this shit? Granted, that was hella rude. But you don’t divorce your wife over that, KORDELL.
Kenya and Miss Lawrence arrive at Mexico a day early so that her narcisstic ass can set up, and by set up, she means put photos of herself in everyone’s room. Ain’t nobody wanna see that shit, KENYA.
The other Housewives head to Mexico together, except for Phaedra and Apollo. Is she having second thoughts? Does she not trust Apollo to act right that much? Can you blame her?
Is it just me or does Portia have a booty that won’t quit? Thank God, because we all know that her brains aren’t going to take her too far.
And how short are Kandi and Todd exactly?! You don’t really notice it until they are walking together and then it’s like, what the hell?!
Anywho, everyone lands and then boards a bus to the hotel. Peter, aka the seventh Housewife, brings up his visit with Kordell, in front of everyone. Why, Peter? What is the point of all this??
They arrive at the hotel and Krayonce greets them in a bikini. Yawn. No one cares, KRAYONCE.
Didn’t I say no one cares? As usual, NeNe’s facial expressions sum up the tone of the scene.
Everyone goes to their rooms and Kenya, forever kissing NeNe’s ass, gives her the other presidential suite. Marlo better watch out because Kenya has been gunning to be NeNe’s right-hand woman since the moment she stepped on the scene. Marlo is just a pawn in whatever game Kenya is playing. Oh well, Marlo has her own agenda and they will both get theirs. Karma is a bitch.
One of the funniest things ever was when Cynthia went to Portia’s room and tells her that Peter called Kordell and that he was on his way to Mexico so that Portia wouldn’t be lonely. LMAO. She had all of us going there for a minute! Good one, Cynthia.
Then her and Portia talked about Peter’s meddling, blah, blah, blah. I tuned out during this part. Sorry!
Everyone meets for dinner, where Kenya switched everyone’s seats because she is lonely and misery loves company. She is hell bent on breaking the couples up. Where is yo man, boo? Seriously, WHERE IS YO MAN?! Dear lawd, why is this woman so sad and shady?!
Everyone is having a good time until two things happen.
1. Phaedra and Apollo arrive. Can you say, “awwwkward”?
2. Everyone and their mama go in on Portia and if she did all that she could to save her marriage. Gregg, Todd, Kenya, Peter, erybody.
So, Gregg was trying to be helpful. He wanted to make sure that there was nothing else that could be done to save Portia and Kordell’s marriage. Todd was trying to help too (Team Todd here!).
Kenya was just being messy as usual. Portia made a comment about telling Kordell she could help his image and Kenya took that and ran with it. She made a mountain out of a molehill, AS USUAL.
However, on a side note, Portia needs to cool it with the “Kordell is gay” innuendos. It only makes her look bad.
Peter, of course, has to get involved in stuff that has nothing to do with him, AGAIN, because he is a little bitch.
PETER, mind yo business and worry about your own damn marriage! You are by no means the expert on marriage, thank you very much. Just shut your mouth and be happy that Cynthia ain’t leaving your ass for fine ass Leon.
What’d you all think about this episode? Are you Team NeNe or Team Marlo? What is Kenya’s problem?! Do you think Portia should try and reconcile with Kordell? Would you divorce someone if their mama ate a pizza in YOUR room??